Today, Wednesday

We had an early start this morning..very early. So tired and grumpy this morning and sore and woke up with a horrible headache. My first appointment check in was at 7:45 am and my appointment lasted for 2 hours. The doctor was so very kind and I really liked what he had to say and took it all to heart. He was an "alternative" doctor that treated the whole person and not just the physical part. He really helped me figure out what kind of supplements I was needing in my diet and I am iron, magnesium, vitamin D, and calcium deficient. So he suggested some great ways to improve nutrition, also he recommended some stress reducing techniques and recommended some counseling to deal with the abandonment issues I have, negative input from people that have not in anyway contributed to me getting here, Tony's separation and Becky's death. The fact that I am a person that feels like I have to be in control and dealing with this illness which I can not control and the things going on around me have really made my stress level rise to a point of making this illness worse and not better. I can not even get on Facebook without hearing criticism from some family member or other. It all goes back to "if you don't have anything nice to say..well don't say it". Anyways the doctor was awesome as he even printed me out some Bible scriptures to meditate on dealing with worry and about what others think of me and seeking approval from others when the only approval I need is from the Lord.

My next appointment was with the dermatologist. They did a skin biopsy on my arm and it required 2 stitches. It didn't want to stop bleeding so I had a pressure bandage on it for 24 hours and they said it will take 4 to 6 weeks to heal because it has to be kept covered at all times. Not allowed to scab over. I am hurting a bit tonight, but as I am totally weaned off pain pills I am just taking Alieve and Tylenol. It takes the edge off, but I don't know how sleeping is going to go. Biopsy results won't be in for at least 2-3 weeks. They prescribed some steroid creams for the rashes and another cream for my eyelids and ears, but am kinda waiting for the final diagnoses before filling them. I don't want to be putting any more chemical's on my body or into my body before the final report.

After the derm appointment I was scheduled to see the Diabetes Education Nurse. It was a man and he really had nothing to add to what I already knew. I had a new pump he was unfamiluar with. He admitted he was diabetic, but didn't like the idea of being hooked up to a machine so he was waiting on getting one. I actually knew more then him and he was asking me questions. Our appointment was over pretty quickly because the diabetes is really not why I am visiting the clinic, though it is definitely a complication and very brittle at this point, it is easily controlled with the pump and I am testing sugars every 2 hours. I think that the Mayo is very through and wanted to make sure that I did understand what kind of diet was important, not just for blood sugar control, but for a long healthy life. Karen is keeping me on a complex carb. diet and I am drinking or eating some fruits and veggies every day. We have mostly been cooking in our room. Or eating at the hospital. Chicken and fish have been our favorites so far, though Karen made homemade beef stew before we left this morning and it was so good. I also have been eating a lot of hummus, cheeses, and legumes. Tomorrow the hotel is having a special Nacho Bar for all it's guests. I am hoping its a cheese sauce so that I can eat because missing so many teeth, nacho chips have to be soft, kind of soggy for me to eat them. But still a night of no cooking sounds nice. If not, we have lots of left overs up here.

I don't think I have mentioned to much about God in this blog, but I do want to say that I am a Christian and I love God with all my heart, soul and mind. I may not always make the correct choice or say the right thing, but I am a human and I make mistakes just like everyone else. I am especially humbled tonight because I have been hand writing thank you notes to the people that gave money so I could be here. I have now made 37 cards and at least 25% are people that I don't even know and have just given out of the kindness of their hears. Then there are old friends that I haven't seen in years that sent in checks. As I look at this out pouring of love I remember that God's grace is sufficient for me. Over $4,200 was raised. My mom, dad, and grandma helped with a lot of that and God continued to show his faithfulness dollar by dollar. I am amazed by that, especially at Christmas when everyone had their own families to take care of and we are in a year of hardship. But God always provides. Not always the way we expect him too, but he does provide. I am finally learning to trust in Him again. It's been a long time..really since Becky was taken away and then leaving our church was devastating. But He holds me in His hands and I continue one step at a time. The best thing about God's acceptance of us is that we don't have to be perfect. We don't have to make all the correct decisions, we just have to love Him. I think that is pretty terrific.

Tomorrow back to the clinic..another day of answers. Thanks for your continued prayers. Love, becca