Tuesday, December 29th - Running Around

Today was a crazy day..I had a follow up regular doctor appointment so I could get a follow up on my burn and I could get all my prescriptions on file and a letter from the doctor saying that I needed to have all medications and insulin and needles on plane in case pump malfunctioned etc. I also had to beg for some refills of meds that are not good for me and assured the doctor that once at the Mayo Clinic the goal was to give up unnecessary meds and get a correct diagnoses with proper testing ect. So I got enough refills to get through the next 10 days. I am so excited about this change in my life because with everyone's help and support I dont want to let anyone down. I want to be healthy. I want to eat right. I want to avoid putting poisen into my body. If the doctor says no wine..then no wine. If the doctor says wine on holiday is all you get then that is all I get. I will do anything. I just feel so privledged to be on this journey of health. I know I was on a road to darkness and death. I saw it and then I had an intervention from a very dear friend, and I did a 180. Was it hard? It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Now my question is not should I eat the cream puff or not, but the question is "is this good for Becca? Will it help me in anyway?" That is a basic question..a yes or no question. If I have to justify it, then it is a wrong choice. And for every 2 steps forward, I seem to take one step back. That is why I am journaling this journey. I want people to know that you don't have to be perfect when you are sick, you don't have to have it all together to ask God to send you help from above, you don't need to do it all yourself. God's grace and mercy flows...it is the living water. On bad days..those days when I overdid the day before, so it is my own fault that I can't get up and walk around, or get on the floor and play with my son, I just ask God to redirect my foot steps. To lead me in the way and let me hear the still small voice that says 'Stop" today. You have done enough....rest in Me and I will renew your strength..."

I have been reading the airline guidelines very carefully. There are so many rules and that is just for regular travelers. I have medications, an insulin pump, and insulin and pen needles. I am not really looking forward to the airport waits and security. I know I am a red flag to them. I am wearing sweats, a t-shirt, and jacket so I can be scanned and comfy. Easy on shoes too. Tomorrow the final Christmas decorations go to the storage unit, and Benny and I are going through his toys...Feel free to write me, post comments etc. I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for your cotinued prayers,
love, becca