Merry Christmas

Hello friends,
Just wanted to send out Christmas blessings and I hope love, peace, and joy for your new year. This Christmas is a bit bittersweet for me, as I am filled with hope for my Mayo Clinic Journey that begins next week and sad as this is the first Christmas for my mom and I to face some tough situations in our lives. I am so glad that we are able to be together to support and strengthen each other through this day. My husband and I officially separated as he finally did find a place of his own and will be moving from our home of three years this weekend. I moved last month and am settled into a wonderful apartment that is such a blessing to live in. But it didn't feel real until he actually got his own place with his own lease also. Now I know that this is really happening and have to just go forward and try not to focus on the negative. He is spending Christmas day here in my place, which will benefit our son greatly, while there is still pain that we both feel I know that we can all be adults and get through this tough time together. This is not any easier on him I am sure. It was his decision and I am sure it was a very hard one for him to make, but I respect that and truthfully our marriage has been troubled for a long time. I just kept hoping for change..and so did he, but neither of us were really willing to change and that brought division and separation into our marriage. The good news is that we don't fight, the kids come first, and he is a good friend. He is a good father and helps with money whenever I ask. I am blessed by that, as lot of wives going through separation and ultimately divorce are not that lucky. I will not go into reasons why we have come to the conclusion that separation is best at this time, as it affects more than me, but our counselor were in agreement with it and the time has just come. Maybe we will just stay separated for a year and then re-evaluate, or maybe when I come back from the Mayo Clinic we will just know and have direction. All I know is that with all these medications in me I am in no shape to make any life changing decisions at this time. Also I can not force anyone else to change or make life changing decisions, So I will patiently wait on the Lord. God always wants what is best for us and I just have to trust and believe that. Isn't that what faith is? Merry Christmas to you all. I hope as more people find this blog it will carry a message of hope and of healing. I am going to share myself and be real like I never have before. This is scary to me, but transparency is what God wants and I want to be a light for others and help people that struggle with having a chronic illness or many chronic illnesses and still walk in faith toward God. The bible says we all have a measure of faith in us, we just need to find it. Christmas is about a virgin that believed the Angel Gabriel with his tidings of great joy...Christmas is about shepherds out keeping their sheep and seeing a multitude of angels light up the sky singing God's glory...Christmas is about giving ...as God gave us His son in the flesh...Merry Christmas to you. Thank you to all who have donated to the Becca Fund. We are still raising money, and God continues to provide. I am humbled by the outpouring of love from people I never expected to hear from and continue to see God working in the hearts of others. Praise God that He never gives up on us.
Merry Christmas, and God Bless you!
becca